Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
