I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't turn off my feet"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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