When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
