I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
