i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Still dying that you shit outside
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
