i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
