he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
