he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
