I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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