So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
