I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
