There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
