they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it glows. i had to have it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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