dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
