I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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