I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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