Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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