is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
