I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You are a genius and a whore.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
