We won't sleep together?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
