this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
