The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
