**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
