with your own penis?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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