I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
