I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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