Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
