Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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