Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
