so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
