Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
