no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
