if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
