party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
