Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
