i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
