Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We had to coat check the pizza.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
