I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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