I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
