I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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