They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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