I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
what is it with giant penises always finding me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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