I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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