how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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