Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
