we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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