Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
