If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
