Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
