I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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