I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
