I'm going to jail i love you
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
